She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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