Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
