It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
