I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
