She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
