She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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