you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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