My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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