Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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