id be glad to
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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