The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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