One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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