In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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