it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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