If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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