turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
