I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
