My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
