Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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