i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
