theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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