Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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