I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
