Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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