and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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