is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize