He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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