I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
