My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you never un-have a 4some
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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