STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Randomize
