I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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