how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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