cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
