in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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