this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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