I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
