I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
