you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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