Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
