Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
