dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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