If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
