when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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