Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I need to calm my uterus...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
