hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
