Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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