In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
