i permit you to call me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
