Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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