I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
