Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
