i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
