I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize