he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
