My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
4 words: hood of his car
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
