kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
