It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
