I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
