I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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